Monday, May 19, 2008

From my other journal

Original entry date: February 26th, 2008 / 9:40pm

O my God and God of my ancestors, save us today and every day from anger, our own and that of others; from bad people, from wickedness in our friends, our companions, our neighbors; from the internal adversary within each of us; and from harsh judgments, our own and those of others, whether they are part of our community or outside our community. -- attributed to Rabbi Yehudah Ha-Nasi

I was reading through some stuff this evening, and this popped out at me. It's apparently from the Talmud, which is a Jewish holy book. They're not certain if Rabbi Yehudah wrote it, but they're "mostly sure." It's an incredible piece of information.

Save us from anger, ours and others. Damn. Yes, save me from my anger, that bubbles up so fast and hard that sometimes, I can't seem to stem the tide. Save me from what occasionally, in anger, spews from my mouth before my brain can fully engage. Save me from the anger of others, in times when they, too, are struggling to keep mouths shut despite anger.

Save us from bad people, and from wickedness in friends, companions, and neighbors. Please, my Gods, save me from friends who turn bad, for whatever reason. Save me from burning bridges over minor things, too, and to accept apologies when they are offered to me. Save me from neighbors who peep in windows and play Mrs. Grundy too often, and who feel it's their right to get all the "dirt" on my unusual family.

Save us from the inner demons. Oy, I need help with that. It's so hard to exorcise the demons that were spawned and live within us because of family, because of people in places of authority over us. It's painful and agonizing, trying to get the demons out, trying to excise them from my life, so that I can be the good person I *want* to be.

Save us from harsh judgements, ones that we make and ones that others make, both in and out of our local area. I plead for this, too, knowing that I am prone to judging people from a very high standard, and prone to disappointment when they cannot live up to that high standard. Save me from those who would look at me and claim I am abused, even though no bruises adorn my body, and for the first time in my life, the bruises on my soul are healing. Save me from the bigots and the idiots, from the ignorant and from those who "know everything," for they would like to see my family destroyed. Save me from those who can't see the joy our family has.

In the name of all the Gods, everywhere, I pray for this. Save us all..
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