Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Because I am the Grammar Queen

I just had to share this with everyone! I laughed when I read it. I wonder how many of the high school kids will understand why it's so funny . . .

The Student Theme
by Ronald Wallace

The adjectives all ganged up on the nouns,
insistent, loud, demanding, inexact,
their Latinate constructions flashing. The pronouns
lost their referents: They were dangling, lacked
the stamina to follow the prepositions' lead
in, on, into, to, toward, for, or from.
They were beset by passive voices and dead
metaphors, conjunctions shouting But! or And!

The active verbs were all routinely modified
by adverbs, that endlessly and colorlessly ran
into trouble with the participles sitting
on the margins knitting their brows like gerunds
(dangling was their problem, too). The author
was nowhere to be seen; was off somewhere.

Today, I'm grateful that I have a room to go into, close the door, and be alone in. It's nice...
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