Monday, November 8, 2010

Oops... I missed a few...

Well, I have days 4 through 8 to answer for, so here are my answers.

Day 5: Something you hope to do in your life

I hope one day to stand up and receive a university diploma. 'Nuff said. :)

Day 6: Something you hope you never have to do
This list is so long I can't even begin. My most fervent hope is that I never hope to bury my child. Though she's far away from me, she's my heartbeat. 

Day 7: Someone who has made your life worth living

There's my daughter again. She is truly the light of my life, and she burns bright for me even when I can't do it for myself. I don't know if she even realizes it, but her life gives me strength, hope, and reason to live. When she was born, I had never seen anything so amazing or beautiful. She's grown into an incredibly beautiful young lady, and she makes me proud of her every day. Knowing that she's out there, even if far off, makes my day.

Day 8: Someone who has made your life hell or treated you badly

That would be my mother. Although I've largely come to terms with my mother issues, it's still painful at times to look back and see the hurt I went through as a teen. I know I didn't go through what some children went through. I was never subjected to physical beatings or tied in a basement or abducted. Yet in a way, her abuse of me was much more insidious. I remember spending time as a child, wishing she would hit me just once, so I could SHOW someone the abuse. You can't show anger to a therapist. 

I realize now that she did the best she could. The fact that it wasn't good enough doesn't take away from the fact that she could do nothing else BUT do her best. She was a piss poor parent, but she was there. And there were times when she pulled it together and was truly a mom... and those are the times I try to focus on.
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