It depends a lot on the type of information or revelation. If it arrives at a time I'm prepared for it (during an Initiation, for instance, when I am spiritually prepared to be inundated) I can usually incorporate and integrate it fairly easily. I'm ready for a life-change or I wouldn't be in that position to begin with. If it comes completely out of the blue, on the other hand, I sometimes find it extremely stressful and occasionally it will cause me to become depressed or anxious. In either case, it takes me a bit of time to make the new ideas fully my own, and I try to do this by using music, art, reading and practicing the new idea or task as a part of that integration.
Has fear been part of your spiritual history? Explore this.
Oh yes! Hecate is my Matron, Dionysos my patron... these are gods intimately involved with fear and frenzy. I'm not afraid OF them, per se, but they both fright me with their actions at times. With Hecate it's usually a matter of being very blunt about some new aspect of my life which I haven't yet come to terms. She was very clear about my serving her, even when I didn't want to, and it took time before I could relax into the role of being priestess to her. Dionysos was much more gentle, but he also inspires a certain amount of fear...
The hum of chanting engulfs my soul with fire
Thudding drums beat out the tattoo of life
Seeping down into the earth’s sweet mire
Only to rise again, crescendo rife
With desire’s sweet touch. I stop, inhale,
The animal scent caresses every sense,
My dervish dance tears the delicate veil
Of sanity I clung to (past tense).
Crimson and heat consume my every thought,
While vines of ivy rend my flesh from bone.
I cry and struggle, vainly, for I’ve wrought
The trap within which I fight not to moan.
His, the Dionysian revel ensures,
Curse and blessing, but never cures.
Review past insights through dreams or intuitive knowing. How have they influenced your life?
While I don't see dreams as a direct phone line to the gods, I do take things serious when I have a specific lucid dream about them. My belief is that dreams arise because we are anxious or stressed about a topic, and that any dreams we have which are easily remembered are there because we're "trying to figure it out" as we sleep. Therefore, any pictures seen may have new insights in them which we wouldn't think of during our waking hours. I've also had very deep conversations with my gods as I slept, which I cherish deeply. How has this influenced my life? It has stoked my belief, while also keeping alive my wonder and my ability to question and test.
If you have any addictions, do you know what is driving them? How can you redirect them toward your well being?
Am I addicted to anything? Yes, sort of. I think I have an addictive personality, and that I am not addicted to a specific thing but I use whatever is at hand to "feed" my addiction needs. So it might be food today, internet games tomorrow, or a fictional series of books next week. One of the main things I do to avoid addictive behavior is to break my day up so I'm not doing any one thing for hours and hours at a time. I'll do homework for an hour then go do dishes. I'll play a game for a few minutes and then clean the bathroom. I'll read a chapter of a novel before I go to bed but no more than that. I use the things I like to do as a carrot for doing the things I may not necessarily like to do.