Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Hod - Counting the Omer

Submission and splendor is the topic of this week's moment to count the Omer, according to the Velveteen Rabbi. It's hard to think of these two things right now, as late last night I got told I have to wait yet a few more days to get my cast off. I was angry, frustrated, and upset. I wasn't finding it in myself to submit to the necessary waiting. Perhaps the extra few days is needed for my healing, after all, and the moving of appointments was for my own health as well as someone else's emergency surgery. Still, it was hard to accept. Giving in to the waiting feels very close to giving up, and I'm not the type to give up so easily, even if I sometimes stomp my metaphorical foot and threaten to do it. I had originally planned an afternoon out with sis today, with my OS appointment then lunch, then her appointment as well. With my appointment cancelled, it seemed our day would be a bust, but she decided heck with it, we were going to have fun anyhow. She's so good to me!

So I am counting my moments that I've been grateful to her. She's taken care of me so well while I've been stuck in bed, and then put up with my tagging along in zippy carts at the grocery store once I was able to be up and about. She's brought me drinks, listened to me whine and complain, and given me hugs. In learning to accept that I'm not in control of this situation in the least, I've been given the opportunity to be incredibly grateful to an amazing friend. I don't think I would have survived the last six weeks without her input and support. Sis understands where others may not, because she was on bed rest for so long with the twins. She remembers it, vividly, and how helpless and frustrated she felt. It's a bit scary being on the opposite side of this bed rest thing, but at least I'm getting to do it with someone who has such intimate experience with it.
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