Thursday, May 5, 2011

Time for Self


I have been neglecting my meditation practices during my healing time from the broken ankle. I'm not sure why, since I have had ample time to meditate while laying in bed alone. Perhaps I have not wanted to focus enough to maintain a proper meditative frame of mind. I am not really sure, but I am aware that I've been avoiding it.

This morning I made time for meditation. It wasn't a lot, only about 15 minutes or so. Still, it was something, and I think that's what counts. It wasn't one of my best meditations, either. I lay down with my leg up, and had decided to meditate on my blessings because I've been down of late and I thought thinking on the good things would help me out. Every time I started to drop into a truly meditative head space, the dogs would begin barking. The sound would jolt me out of the meditative framework, and I'd have to start all over again. Eventually, after about 15 minutes of this, I gave up. I decided that it wasn't serving the right purpose and was instead building up my frustration with the dogs. Still, I did take the time, and I did achieve a few quiet minutes of meditative state. I consider it a good thing that I found both the presence of mind and the strength of character to realize it was appropriate to stop forcing the meditation and move on with my day.

Even those few minutes seem to have improved my though processes. I was calmer during breakfast, ate slowly and mindfully, and had an interesting discussion with Gray. I am feeling more smooth today, and much less rough around the edges. I've even returned to the quiet joy of listening to meditation music on Pandora while journaling, something I did a lot of prior to my accident.

Yesterday was a bad day for leg pain, probably due to a number of factors. I'd squeezed my bad foot into a shoe for a few minutes while I looked at myself in robe and stole, the outfit I will be wearing for my ordination. Add to that the pouring rain that came down for two days straight, and I think it adds up to fatigue and minor pain in my ankle. I spent yesterday with the leg up, icing and resting it as suggested, and am feeling better (if still a bit tender) today.

Due to being laid up, I decided to work on transportation. I think I have it all down pat now, and will be purchasing tickets tomorrow. I leave New Hampshire on June 8th at gawd-awful'o'clock in the morning, and arrive in NYC by about 9am. I then have approximately 3 hours to get to Penn Station (easy enough to do, though I'll probably get lunch on the way) where I catch a noonish train to our retreat center. I'll be at the retreat until late afternoon on the 10th, when I will take either train or bus back to NYC, to spend the next 2 nights with my friend S. On the 12th, I will get up, meet up with family who are coming into the city for my ordination, and then will head off to lunch and the church. At 2:30pm or so, I will be ordained, in front of a thousand or so people. After all the celebrations are over, I will head home with family in the van.

Wow... It's so close! In 38 days, I will be an ordained minister.
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